Who do you say I am?

I have often said that I don’t care what people think of me, that whether you like me or not matters little to me. I am just who I am and am not willing to change to make you like me. And though it is still mostly how I feel, I realize now that it may not always be Christ-like to think like this. Growing up and still to this day, I have had people tell me that they didn’t think I liked them, or that they didn’t like me until they really got to know me, that they thought I was a "snob." I am quiet, reserved, shy, introverted, all those stinkin’ words that I have come to hate, but that’s who I am. That is how God made me I guess. So, am I responsible for other people’s perceptions of me? Can I help the judgments people form of me before they ever know me? Unfortunately, whether I like it or not, I believe the responsibility is mostly mine. This is a hard truth for me because I really am oblivious to others around me for the most part. (not to their needs, but to their perceptions of me. I want to be a servant, I just don't want to be concerned with people I am unaware of forming opinions of me) I just do my thang and don’t really think about much else, until it’s over. Then I might look back and think hmmmm I wonder what so and so thinks about me. But then I think who cares and move on. Honestly, and until recently I didn’t really realize that everybody was not like that.

But, I feel awkward making small talk with people, so a lot of times I just say nothing. I hate forced conversations. But, I really do envy that quality in people to make those around them feel comfortable. My husband is so good at that. I just feel stupid when I open my mouth to talk to somebody I don’t know that well. I really do desire to be more approachable, though. I desire to be a reflection of the joy I feel in my heart. I want all people to see Jesus in me, not just the people I know well. I want strangers to feel secure in my presence and not wonder whether I like them or not. In order to do this I have to embody the fruits of the spirit. People should see love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control when they look at me. I don’t think that is expecting too much of myself. It may be difficult to overcome my weaknesses. In fact, it will be impossible without Jesus working through me, without my obedience to walk in the spirit. I must step out when He says to step out. I don’t have to be something I’m not, but I must be the me He created me to be. And I don’t think he created me to use my weaknesses as excuses or crutches. I think He gave me weaknesses so that He could show His awesome strength in my life.

So, I really don’t care what people think of me. But I do care what God thinks of me.

Covered Up in Kids!