Ramblings as usual

TGIF! We just finished up a week of Vacation Bible School. I was the craft teacher, and Season was in the "LoneStar" class of 4-5 year olds. Grayson got to spend every morning with Gran Gran, and he made me feel really bad every time I left him. I am so glad I don't have to do that every day! But I know he had a great time without me. Mom said he pretended that he was going to Wal-Mart to buy books while pushing a baby in a stroller and carrying a purse over his shoulder. Yeah, there is something wrong with that picture, but it makes me laugh nonetheless. Season had a hard time the first few days, you know, crying and running to her wonderful mommy because she doesn't want to spend a moment away from me. But, I threatened her with her life and the last three days I didn't even know she was there. She is becoming a big girl, and I seriously hate it. I think I would be perfectly happy if she stayed four forever. My favorite class was the 4th-5th grade, mostly because they think it's hilarious when you act like a total idiot. And I love that, no inhibitions whatsoever. Anyway, today was the last day and the kids sang a few songs for their parents. As I was listening to them, I was completely blessed as I thought that Jesus must be thoroughly blessed and entertained as well, at hearing them sing "Jesus, Lamb of God, Worthy is your name." There is nothing like a child's voice singing to his/her Father...so pure.

And I did my good deed for the day a few minutes ago. I looked out my front door and there were like several huge tree branches in the road. Cars were veering into oncoming traffic to avoid them, and we live right in front of a hill where you can't really see what's coming over it. So because I was afraid someone was going to have a wreck, I thought I would just go throw them off the road, not realizing how much of a task it would be. It was basically like a whole tree cut up and dispersed in the highway in front of my house and two others. And here I am in my pajamas basically, no bra, no shoes, and all these men in their big bad trucks wouldn't even freakin' stop and help. But that is the kind of world we live in, huh? Nobody has time to stop and help a girl out. I'm sure they were thinkin' what is that idiot doin' with her dog in the road pickin' up a tree. Whatever. So here I am gettin' muddy and inflicting scratches upon myself, but I did it and I can't wait to tell Graham about it. He'll be so proud, lol. Although he may think I made it up because a stinkin' TxDot bulldozer thingy came and picked up the branches and dumped them into the back of a truck. Yep, it took two men and two big vehicles to pick up what I had singlehandedly done all by myself. Such an exciting life I lead, lol.

And Graham is going to kids'camp (as a counselor) next week. I'm a little jealous because I love church camp, but I am so excited for him to be able experience it. Ok, Ok, I'm out.

Is it so wrong that I believe my children are absolutely beautiful and smart and funny? Doesn't everyone think this about their babies? They should. Anyway just wanted to share some pics of my babes.

Still too young to know when she looks like a dork. lol I hope she never loses that innocence.

Yep, that's my boy. I love his silly personality!
Season was so proud of her goggles, which I bought at Target for a dollar. How many more days/months/years will just$1 make her happy?

Still bein' a silly boy...not quite ready to jump in the deep with sister.

My girl looks just like her daddy....did I even birth this child? She takes my breath away.

Eudey life

I have nothing inspirational about which to blog, just life in general that we daily take for granted. After all the Bible says that life is a vapor, and we let it pass as if it will never end. I can’t fathom life as a vapor, especially on those days when I change dirty diaper after dirty diaper, break up numerous “fights,” cook dinner only to have it turn out like crap, literally, and well, you know what I mean. But most of the time, life is good, and those are the things that give my day, ummm, flavor, let‘s say. And I thank God for His goodness, but I still feel humbled and undeserving.
This week has been full of swimming. We were blessed with a pool, and my Season has absolutely enjoyed herself in a degree to which only a child can muster. Her joy has been contagious, as I found myself inside the pool in a swimsuit (gasp!) actually splashing around and having a good ole time. In fact, Graham and I actually jumped in one night sans, uh….kids. It’s been fun and relaxing, and now I never want to experience another summer without a pool!
On Tuesday my sister and I took our kids, along with my niece, to the Dallas Zoo. The trip left me wondering if outings as such are really worth the effort. I mean with the semi-long road trip, the heat, the money, the complaining kids, the stinky rhinos, the spilled drink in a nice restaurant…. But the looks on the kids faces as they see or experience something new, or scary, or just plain strange is, as they say, priceless. They created memories, and I love playing a part in that. Grayson’s favorite animal was the giraffe, so cute to hear him say it. But, overall, I think the favorite was the monkeys, of course. Wow, they are so human-like it’s scary. And I gained a new appreciation for the lion as I stared at him/her thinking that Jesus is called the Lion of Judah. What an awesome visual. The lion sitting in the cage was so beautiful and peaceful. My sister even said she just wanted to crawl in there and cuddle with it. And I agreed, especially as I was picturing Jesus. But, as we looked at it’s paws and teeth, it’s power was obvious. And did you know a liger is a for real animal? I thought it was something Napolean just created, but no completely fo’ real.

Azlyn, Season, Grayson, Addi

Later that night, the girls had a t-ball game that was much less than exciting. They are so cute, but if you are looking for a competitive display of skills, it ain’t gonna happen. In fact, the most competitive part of the whole game is when it’s over, and both teams race to the sno-cone stand. We did get our long anticipated t-ball pictures, though, the outcome of which is a whole other story. I say our because I am in the picture with Season. She absolutely refused to pose, and I thought maybe if I was in it with her she would smile, but no. I think I am smiling big enough for the both of us. The things we do for our children.

Did I mention how much I love the pool? Mostly because now I have an excuse to just sit and do nothing, or I mean, uh, watch the kids.

Five things I love right now

1. I love watching my kids interact. I love that they love each other. When they hug and kiss on each other there just ain’t nothin’ better. They like to pretend that Grayson is a dog, and Season leads him around with a leash(belt). I love it. Grayson barks and begs, and Season throws him a toy to fetch. To hear Season say , “Look at Bubba. He is so funny,”, with this huge proud grin on her face. And when Grayson wakes up in the morning and says, “Where Seazee?” The Best! It‘s exactly why I wanted them to be close in age, so that they would have a forever bond, a reliance on each other, a knowing glance, inside jokes, a peace in the fact that no matter what life may bring, they will always have each other.
2. I love anytime I can steal some quietness, some time where absolutely nothing is going on, the calm before the storm. This is usually in the mornings amidst my coffee topped with whipped cream, my Bible, and my journal. I love this quiet time that I can reflect, pray, read, study, just a time to gain understanding, prepare my “battle plan," for the day, and be refreshed in order to get through the day with peace.
3. I love when I get to spend time with my kids individually. They are able to just be themselves with Mom without having to one-up each other, lol, and I am able to focus on just them. Lately, Grayson is so affectionate. At bedtime, after a book about tractors, of course, he insists on kissing each of my eyes, my ears, my nose, and my forehead. I love it! They are the sweetest kisses ever! He usually wakes up before Season in the mornings too, and for about fifteen minutes, he will not let me out of his sight. He needs me….selfishly, I hope he always does! I tell him no other woman can ever take mommy’s place! Ok, and not in a weird Oedipus Rex kinda way. Lol. Season says the cutest things, and has a way of making me feel like the best mommy ever! Like on mother’s day, she said, “Mommy, I’m glad you’re my Mommy!“ She and I got to take a shopping/movie trip together the other day (along with my bff who loves me even though I am an unfashionable, clumsy dork). Anyway, Season was just awesome, ok except for like seven potty breaks and lying on the dressing room floor and saying very loudly, “Mommy, your bobo is a lot bigger than mine.” She is growing up so fast, and I just want to be able to savor every little thing about her being who she is right now. Why am I a stay-at-home mom? Yeah, all this and more. Being their mommy makes me feel ragingawesome.
4. I love that Graham and I can share the Lord. We can argue and analyze and share the things of God. Through this we grow in our love for each other and our love for God. We tried to start a tradition of getting up early , having coffee together, praying, and doing a little devotional thing. We did it like two days in a row, and it was great. Unfortunately, I am really lazy in the mornings, so we are still working that out. But, to see his passion for the Lord still raging--love it! Though when I get in a bad mood and he tells me, just give it to God, oh wait this is things I love. So, anyway, yeah.
5. I love to get lost in a good book. I just finished Safely Home by Randy Alcorn. It came highly recommended by a couple of friends, and it totally lived up. I know a book is good when I get mad that it’s over. And, yeah, I was completely mad at the author for not telling me more. Go read it, and be amazed at people who truly know what it is to be persecuted for Jesus. I love a good praise CD. I love that we just spent the rainy weekend with great friends and had fun. I love allergy pills. I love chocolate. I love the library. I love my life group. I love the Sonic at happy hour. I love my new dryer. I love to be in His presence. I love that Season is playing with the Barbie’s I used to play with. I love that Grayson is right there beside her brushing the Barbie’s hair with a plastic spoon. And we wonder why the word love has lost its meaning.
I love this picture...Isha's Alisha, Christy's Maddie, My Season!

Ragingawesome Baby!

My favorite word, which I made up because I am a dork like that, is ragingawesome. I'm not quite sure when I decided that this would be my catch phrase, or that I was allowed to make up words, or that I would be so goofy as to share it with others. But other than being so much fun to say, it has deeper meaning to me. I like to think that whatever you do, you should do it with rage. I know, I know rage is usually violent anger, but here I mean complete sold-out passion, not anger. God created us with passions and desires and I think He intended for us to do those things, to live our lives with serious rage. The Bible says whatever your hands find to do, do it with all your might. Rage! Or as Mr. Abe Lincoln said, "Whatever you are, be a good one." I know it's nothing we've never heard before, but are we really doing this in our day-to-day lives? Are we really being our best? I know I'm not. And I'm not talking about being perfect. Anyone who knows me knows my goal is not perfection. In fact perfection gags me, infuriates me, fills me with rage. lol Anyway. I'm just saying make it your goal to live your life with passion even in the little things. Don't be so afraid of making a mistake or doing it wrong that you lose the passion, the rage.

When I was teaching, my students thought I was an idiot most of the time (a "cool" idiot though), but I even made me a t-shirt that said Ragingawesome Bears. Yeah, and I wore it on game days. It rocked! lol One of my favorite poems to teach was by Dylan Thomas, which he wrote to his dying father, begging him to not go out without a fight. It says, "Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light." I was reading this in front of the class one time and accidentally said "Rage, rage against the machine!" lol Anyway, this is my goal....to be ragin'. A ragin' Christian, a ragin' wife, a ragin' mom, to pursue my God-breathed passions with rage. Yeah, I like it!

Yo' Momma

1. "There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Yes, it’s true. We all breathe a sigh of relief, a prayer of thanksgiving when our little ones finally fall asleep. In fact, I have found myself alone in the living room doing the touchdown symbol when they are both out at the same time in the middle of the day. And on those tough days, I might even do a little celebration dance in the end zone. I mean I love love love my babies, but when you’re a stay-at-home mom, a break is well warranted and needed….for the children’s sake. Lol
2. "Mothers are all slightly insane." ~ J.D. Salinger Hahahaha….how many times have I admitted to being insane this year? You know being a mom who thinks she can do so many things at one time can do that to you, and for some reason, we all think we can. And you know what, the truth is we normally can. But in the midst of the whirlwind that is cooking the dinner, sweeping the floor, teaching the children, reading the Bible, folding the laundry, planning the party, pursuing our own interests, keeping the man happy, all with a pearly white smile and within the same hour of course, well it feels like complete insanity, kind of like childbirth without drugs I’m sure. But once that whirlwind of activity is over, just like childbirth, you sit back and think “Wow, I did that.” Though, not without a little help from my Lord. And we are all ready to do it again, forgetting the overwhelming parts, and only remembering the positive outcomes, which is insane in itself. But, if I try to take a break for like a day, or even an hour, well it just is not copasetic. And so the insanity continues.
3. It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”- The Golden Girls Sorry, but you know it’s funny. Thank God for creating us both, because when it comes to doing certain things, like declogging the toilet or killing the mice and snakes, I am so thankful I am a woman. Just as my husband is thankful he is not at home being mommy 24/7. (Though for the record if any man had to do it, mine could get it done, and get it done well!)
4. The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint. I am so sad that my babies are already over the whole getting rocked to sleep thing. I never felt more in tune with God than when I was holding my baby, singing to them while rocking them to sleep. It’s makes the whole hectic day worth it to have this beautiful baby completely dependent on you wrapped in your arms wanting to be nowhere but right where he is. That’s when I learned that is exactly how God wants us to be with Him. We are His children. He loves us more than we can even imagine loving our babies. He wants us to climb up in His arms and completely depend on Him. Wow!
5. “A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home.” -Chinese proverb This is one that means more to me all the time. This is my home. I am the woman of this home. I create the atmosphere of this home. If I want a happy, peaceful home, I must be a happy, peaceful mom. How do I get this done? By resting in the arms of my Father!
So, on my fifth mother’s day, I am so thankful to my own prayer-warrior mother for showing me exactly what a mother is; I often tell her the only way I can give her back what she has given me is to be the same kind of mother to mine. I am thankful to Graham’s mom for raising such a kind, wise, loving son. And I am thankful to God for trusting me enough to be a mommy to my Season and Grayson, obviously the best, smartest, most beautiful children on the planet! Lol

Pics from our Mexico Trip a year ago and be forewarned that the next post is really long, but I don't care.