My Valentine (yes, a few days late, so what!)

I am continually humbled by the fact that God answered my prayers for my husband. Graham has always been a good man, but now he is a New Man. I am not an emotional girl, but my heart seriously overflows with gratefulness, unworthiness, and a deep desire that all marriages can be genuinely rooted in God. I write not to boast in Graham, but to boast only in the Lord, who had mercy on us both.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

2 Corinthians 5:17

The new man leads his family to church. He models the love of Jesus. He does not seek his own glory. The new man asks for forgiveness when he is wrong. He extends mercy to his wife when she fails. He leads his daughter in prayer when she is afraid. The new man encourages his son to seek God and not the things of this world. He sets the Word of God as his standard. The new man runs to the peace of God, not the temorary escape of this world. He loves to guide conversations to God, and enjoys the company of like-minded friends and family. The new man encourages his wife to feed her spirit, not her flesh (which, honestly, she would rather not hear, lol). He realizes his own stength is not enough, and knows he is nothing without Christ. He inspires little children to be passionate about the Lord, and feels compassion for the lost. The new man humbles himself before the Lord, and does not apologize for his sensitivity to the Spirit. He worships the Lord for his handiwork, and stands in awe of the one true God. He cries out for a pure heart, and knows this world is not his home. The new man realizes that God's ways are much higher than his own, and is willing to go against the flow in obedience to Him. He admits when he has stepped outside of God's will, and feels repentant for doing so. He devours the Word for wisdom, passionate about storing it in his heart. The new man does not seek wealth from this world, but desires to store up treasures in heaven. He doesn't always get it right, but ultimately knows that his Victory is in the Lord. The new man sees with His eyes, tries to be God's hands, and loves unconditionally. He plans with diligence, pursues righteousness, craves unity, wants more than anything to see His glory known. He is my Psalm 1 man. And I, I am learning to lean on him as God's covering for me, and I love him much more than I can express.

Living and Active

Isaiah 40:28-31

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

The Truth. My Life Sustained. Scriptures that I've heard since before I could read them for myself. How is it that they continue to give me encouragement and strength? How is that His Word continues to convict and break my heart? I've always questioned how. "Child-like faith" has never come easily to me. Luckily the Lord totally gets my skepticism and accepts me just the same. He teaches me to be at peace with questions that have no earthly answer. So, we Continue to hope in the Lord. Continue to Run. Because, Hello? Don't you know? Haven't you heard? My God is everlasting. He doesn't grow tired of me. My weak faith does not make Him weary. He is totally cool with the fact that I can't begin to fathom His understanding.

Thank you God for daily Renewal.

Happy Birthday to Jew!

This is the phrase I heard several times from my boy Sunday! So now I am a very mature 31. So surreal, but in a good way. I felt very special on my birthday, even though my man was sick. (he tried to pretend he wasn't, which really made him even more pitiful) I was blessed by several happy birthday phone calls and myspace wishes, see myspace is good for something...)as well as the always loved cards with money
Graham's mom blessed me with a great lunch complete with my favorites And I am so in love with my new perfume they gave me too
We finished our night as a family watching the finale of our new favorite show. Now I am a little torn about whether it is the best thing to be promoting, but we have had so much fun watching the kids impersonate the dadiators as Grayson calls them. Oh, and the Akins brought me a half-eaten cake. (It didn't look like this) which seems rude if you are unaware of the fact that the 17th was also Ty's birthday, and then it totally rocks. The next morning as I checked my email, I was shocked by a "postcard" from Mr. Jon Bon Jovi. Yes, I said Jon Bon Jovi. He literally rocks and so does my BFF Rose btw. So, I am totally excited about the concert and can't wait to see what other kind of freaks are Bon Jovi fans! I've got to freshen up on all his lyrics before April 14th so I can sing every word at the top of my lungs as I do the running man. Yeah, you know me. I have always wanted to go to a Bon Jovi concert, so this is a silly dream come true for me. I don't even listen to his music anymore, but I'll be there for you just did something for my life, lol. So thank you to my friends and family for making my day special! Love!

My little scary bear.



Mommy and Season Sunday morn.

Beyond Measure

I know that I've been given more than Beyond Measure. I have not experienced the tragedy that Jeremy Camp has(lost his first wife to cancer), but I do not need tragedy in order to realize these blessings for which I am unworthy. My life is full of love, no matter where I look, I am surrounded. Many times I ask why? Why is my life so lovely? A question that has no answer. I want to boast only of Him who gave His life that I might have redemption and this awesome peace...in blessings and if tragedy ensues, I KNOW on whom I stand and I KNOW
"that I’ve been,
Given more than beyond measure,
I come alive when,
I see beyond my fears
I know that I’ve been given more than earthly treasure,
I come alive when
I’ve broken down and given you control"

Hope all had a rockin' Valentines day! And that you choose to see Love all around no matter your circumstances.

A Valentines Day Nap....

Confession

I am a thief. There. I said it. Or I was a thief for like five minutes. So does that still qualify as an official thief? That's what I was asking God anyway right after I grabbed my receipt and my buggy and noticed the two dollar and fifty cent cupcakes sitting there so innocently under my big honkin' purse. The cupcakes were for a good cause, my cousin's birthday, so doesn't that make it okay to just go ahead and slip quietly out the door without paying for them. After all, lol, I am a good person. That's what I thought as I held Grayson on my hip and stared sweetly straight into the eyes of the Wal-Mart lady standing at the exit checking receipts of people who ding when they walk out. I sailed right past the dinger thinking how easy it is for a smiling mom with cute kids to steal. Unfortunately for the devil in me, I had promised Season we would rent a movie at the Redbox machine right outside the door. So, I had to stop, which meant I had time to think (stupid conscience!) I tried to bargain with God. "I'll pay for them next time!" "I mean, it's not as if I had the intention to steal them when I picked them up. It was a sheer oversight. An innocent accident." "The lines! God the lines are soooooo loooong!" Anyway, that's kind of how it went during the few minutes that it took to rent Underdog. I really just did not want to go back into that stressful moneyhole. It took me hours just to find the shortest check-out, which just so happened to be the self check-out, which, let's be honest, usually takes longer. There is a definite technique to the scanning. One that's not so easy to perfect with the help of two-year-old. Anyway, I did. Go back in. I left my basket outside and told the Wal-Mart exit greeter lady that I "forgot" to pay for the cupcakes. Luckily, God smiled on me and I didn't even have to wait in line. I went back in because I stopped. I stopped long enough to consult with God. Pausing is good. Think before you leap. Oh wait it's look before you leap. I took time to think about what my actions revealed and how they would affect me. Would the effects of stealing two dollar cupcakes be massive? Not outwardly, but I knew, for me, I wouldn't be able to get away from it. Every time I faced God, I would be reminded of my internal ugliness. oh wait. That happens anyway. I'm beginning to ramble. What I am trying to say is I'm a sinner saved by grace. I'm ugly. I'm a thief. Thank God he replaces my ashes with His beauty.

BTW-I didn't even eat a bite of the stupid cupcakes. But I took a moment to pose with the instigators, just in case you were beginning to think that I am not a dork.

God gives...

Do you ever look at your kids? No, I mean really stop and breathe in every ounce of who God made them. Why do we get so busy that we forget to do this? I'm with mine pretty much 24/7, and I "overlook" them all of the time in lieu of homework, cleaning up, and general unimportant details. I don't want to. I want every day to be a day of standing in awe of what God has given me. My children's beauty and being often catches me off guard. It humbles me. Tucking Grayson in the other night I stared at him for the longest, telling him what a miracle he was. He kissed me as tears rolled down my face in thankfulness for what I do not deserve. It's as if God has to grab me by the shoulders sometimes and shake me and say "LOOK! They are what really matters in this life! Mother them as if you are mothering me!" If I was born for nothing else, I was born to be their mom and to be a wife to Graham. God has given me other things to "do," other people to love, but He always bring me back to Himself and then my little family for true contentment and joy. And that's what this week has been to me...a time of refreshing with my family. Graham was able to take off of work a few days, and we just hung out as a family. We had a picnic and silly fun at the park(some pics in sidebar). Friday we took Season to see the Bee Movie. Saturday the girls stayed busy at home, while the men did "men" things, you know burn stuff and build stuff. Graham and I even got to watch both of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies after the kids went to bed, and we finally booked a small vacation for our tenth anniversary.
This life bring ups and downs physically, emotionally, circumstantially. I do not want to take this "up" for granted. Because the truth is, it could all come crashing down tomorrow. This life is a vapor, as my husband often reminds me. And our God is no respecter of persons. Sorry, I don't intend to be a Debbie Downer, as my sister calls me, just a realist. So, yeah, I am thankful and overwhelmed by His blessings.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Awesomeness

Today I just want to say that my God is awesome. He is awesome for so many reasons that I am unable to adequately express, but I'm gonna try a few.

1. When you give to Him, He gives back so much more. Graham and I made a pact with God of some sort last week, concerning discipline in our lives. Just a small step really, but our relationship this week has just been fun. We have been able to find joy despite not feeling 100%. We have blessed each other with grace in times that we wouldn't usually. And in my thinking, it's all because of God. We agreed to be more focused on Him, and He, in His overwhelming grace and mercy, decided to pour us down a blessing!

2. He created a beautiful night. Saturday night I stood outside in my driveway just staring up at the sky in childlike amazement. The stars were just Wow! You could like see every single one of them and they seemed as if you could reach out and grab them. They were so visible because there was no moon. The sky was absolutely pitch (whatever that means!) black. We should shine like that in this world. We should sharply contrast with the darkness around us. Hmmmmmm....it's a challenge. I know I'm not "shiney" enough. Thank God He continues to polish us daily.

3. He has a sense of humor. That same night as I admired the stars, I had a conversation with Graham and a good old friend of his. I laughed at them and they wondered why. I didn't laugh because anything was funny but because our conversation was somewhat ironic. Not so many years ago I would have been extremely angry at them and their heathen ways. But not so anymore as we discussed our God and His ways instead.

**Why is God awesome to you? Come on and leave me a comment and brag on Him. Show us some love. hehehehe


Psalm 34 1-3
I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.

Five things I love right now

1. I love watching my kids interact. I love that they love each other. When they hug and kiss on each other there just ain’t nothin’ better. They like to pretend that Grayson is a dog, and Season leads him around with a leash(belt). I love it. Grayson barks and begs, and Season throws him a toy to fetch. To hear Season say , “Look at Bubba. He is so funny,”, with this huge proud grin on her face. And when Grayson wakes up in the morning and says, “Where Seazee?” The Best! It‘s exactly why I wanted them to be close in age, so that they would have a forever bond, a reliance on each other, a knowing glance, inside jokes, a peace in the fact that no matter what life may bring, they will always have each other.
2. I love anytime I can steal some quietness, some time where absolutely nothing is going on, the calm before the storm. This is usually in the mornings amidst my coffee topped with whipped cream, my Bible, and my journal. I love this quiet time that I can reflect, pray, read, study, just a time to gain understanding, prepare my “battle plan," for the day, and be refreshed in order to get through the day with peace.
3. I love when I get to spend time with my kids individually. They are able to just be themselves with Mom without having to one-up each other, lol, and I am able to focus on just them. Lately, Grayson is so affectionate. At bedtime, after a book about tractors, of course, he insists on kissing each of my eyes, my ears, my nose, and my forehead. I love it! They are the sweetest kisses ever! He usually wakes up before Season in the mornings too, and for about fifteen minutes, he will not let me out of his sight. He needs me….selfishly, I hope he always does! I tell him no other woman can ever take mommy’s place! Ok, and not in a weird Oedipus Rex kinda way. Lol. Season says the cutest things, and has a way of making me feel like the best mommy ever! Like on mother’s day, she said, “Mommy, I’m glad you’re my Mommy!“ She and I got to take a shopping/movie trip together the other day (along with my bff who loves me even though I am an unfashionable, clumsy dork). Anyway, Season was just awesome, ok except for like seven potty breaks and lying on the dressing room floor and saying very loudly, “Mommy, your bobo is a lot bigger than mine.” She is growing up so fast, and I just want to be able to savor every little thing about her being who she is right now. Why am I a stay-at-home mom? Yeah, all this and more. Being their mommy makes me feel ragingawesome.
4. I love that Graham and I can share the Lord. We can argue and analyze and share the things of God. Through this we grow in our love for each other and our love for God. We tried to start a tradition of getting up early , having coffee together, praying, and doing a little devotional thing. We did it like two days in a row, and it was great. Unfortunately, I am really lazy in the mornings, so we are still working that out. But, to see his passion for the Lord still raging--love it! Though when I get in a bad mood and he tells me, just give it to God, oh wait this is things I love. So, anyway, yeah.
5. I love to get lost in a good book. I just finished Safely Home by Randy Alcorn. It came highly recommended by a couple of friends, and it totally lived up. I know a book is good when I get mad that it’s over. And, yeah, I was completely mad at the author for not telling me more. Go read it, and be amazed at people who truly know what it is to be persecuted for Jesus. I love a good praise CD. I love that we just spent the rainy weekend with great friends and had fun. I love allergy pills. I love chocolate. I love the library. I love my life group. I love the Sonic at happy hour. I love my new dryer. I love to be in His presence. I love that Season is playing with the Barbie’s I used to play with. I love that Grayson is right there beside her brushing the Barbie’s hair with a plastic spoon. And we wonder why the word love has lost its meaning.
I love this picture...Isha's Alisha, Christy's Maddie, My Season!

Yo' Momma

1. "There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep."-- Ralph Waldo Emerson Yes, it’s true. We all breathe a sigh of relief, a prayer of thanksgiving when our little ones finally fall asleep. In fact, I have found myself alone in the living room doing the touchdown symbol when they are both out at the same time in the middle of the day. And on those tough days, I might even do a little celebration dance in the end zone. I mean I love love love my babies, but when you’re a stay-at-home mom, a break is well warranted and needed….for the children’s sake. Lol
2. "Mothers are all slightly insane." ~ J.D. Salinger Hahahaha….how many times have I admitted to being insane this year? You know being a mom who thinks she can do so many things at one time can do that to you, and for some reason, we all think we can. And you know what, the truth is we normally can. But in the midst of the whirlwind that is cooking the dinner, sweeping the floor, teaching the children, reading the Bible, folding the laundry, planning the party, pursuing our own interests, keeping the man happy, all with a pearly white smile and within the same hour of course, well it feels like complete insanity, kind of like childbirth without drugs I’m sure. But once that whirlwind of activity is over, just like childbirth, you sit back and think “Wow, I did that.” Though, not without a little help from my Lord. And we are all ready to do it again, forgetting the overwhelming parts, and only remembering the positive outcomes, which is insane in itself. But, if I try to take a break for like a day, or even an hour, well it just is not copasetic. And so the insanity continues.
3. It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”- The Golden Girls Sorry, but you know it’s funny. Thank God for creating us both, because when it comes to doing certain things, like declogging the toilet or killing the mice and snakes, I am so thankful I am a woman. Just as my husband is thankful he is not at home being mommy 24/7. (Though for the record if any man had to do it, mine could get it done, and get it done well!)
4. The lullaby is the spell whereby the mother attempts to transform herself back from an ogre to a saint. I am so sad that my babies are already over the whole getting rocked to sleep thing. I never felt more in tune with God than when I was holding my baby, singing to them while rocking them to sleep. It’s makes the whole hectic day worth it to have this beautiful baby completely dependent on you wrapped in your arms wanting to be nowhere but right where he is. That’s when I learned that is exactly how God wants us to be with Him. We are His children. He loves us more than we can even imagine loving our babies. He wants us to climb up in His arms and completely depend on Him. Wow!
5. “A hundred men may make an encampment, but it takes a woman to make a home.” -Chinese proverb This is one that means more to me all the time. This is my home. I am the woman of this home. I create the atmosphere of this home. If I want a happy, peaceful home, I must be a happy, peaceful mom. How do I get this done? By resting in the arms of my Father!
So, on my fifth mother’s day, I am so thankful to my own prayer-warrior mother for showing me exactly what a mother is; I often tell her the only way I can give her back what she has given me is to be the same kind of mother to mine. I am thankful to Graham’s mom for raising such a kind, wise, loving son. And I am thankful to God for trusting me enough to be a mommy to my Season and Grayson, obviously the best, smartest, most beautiful children on the planet! Lol