Graham and I are loving this song lately. Our praise team sings it at church, and they do an awesome job of it. And now they play Michael W. Smith's version of it on Klove all the time. We can't get enough of it. The lyrics are powerful. You can't hear it and not worship Him. My God is mighty to save, Author of my salvation. He conquered the grave! He is the hope of the nations. He takes me as I am, all my stinkin' fears and failures. I love the end of the song, picturing that one of these days we really will be gathered around His throne, all of us, all nations, singing for the glory of the Risen King.

Zephaniah 3: 16-17 "Do not fear, O Zion; do not let your hands hang limp. The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Unfortunately, I am reminded everyday that I am a sinner saved by grace by the simple fact that the above statement shared by Mr. Bunny is my natural tendency. No, Mr. Ray Comfort, I am not a good person.

The love of Jesus is amazing. He watches us mess up again and again, and His love is just as overwhelming and unfailing the last time we fail as it was the first.

I, on the other hand, ask like Peter did, "uh, Lord, how many times do I have to watch people make the same mistake before I can just cross them off my list? How many times do I have to pretend that I believe the facade they present." And, He gently reminds me that He keeps me on His list.

1 Peter 4:7 says to be "clear minded and self-controlled so that [I] can pray." I cannot allow my mind to be infiltrated by resentfulness, confusion, or trying to figure out why people do what they do. I cannot act on my fleshly tendencies to want to behave in an unChrist-like manner based on what other people do. I have to pray for myself and others. I can't pray unless I am "clear-minded and self-controlled."

1 Peter 4:8 says "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." The Scripture doesn't give me a list of people I should love deeply, or "fervently" as the KJV says. Nope, I can't choose to love only certain people. I am just called to love. In loving like Jesus, we cover over sin!? Wow. The love of Jesus is perfect. It is, as Shelly read in Lifegroup, 1Corinthians 13. The question is not can I do it, but will I do it? (Because His Word says I can) If I want perfect peace, If I want to see my brothers and sisters in Christ in perfect peace, I have to love. I have to constantly lay my natural tendencies at His feet because He is searching my heart and my mind and He, the almighty God of everything, the One who truly covers over my sin, He knows my motives (1Chronicles28:9) He sees right through the facade. That strikes the fear of God in me.

CONVICTED

Our justice system sometimes convicts people for things they did not do. But when the Holy Spirit convicts, no jury is needed. If you are feeling the conviction of the Holy Spirit, you may as well stop running from it because there is no doubt that you are guilty. Ouch. Why does it sting so bad? I think it's that in being convicted by God you know what He is showing you is truth. And it hurts to admit that we have been wrong. We don't want to admit that we have flaws, or atleast I don't. It's easy to look at somebody else and see their imperfections, but when the finger is pointed at ourself, we like to look over our shoulder and avoid it.

So that's how I felt last week when God grabbed ahold of me as I read some random blog. By the time I got to the end of said random blog, I was wiping away tears of conviction, remorse and sadness. Now, I don't expect everyone felt this way after reading it, but the young man in her recount made me instantly think of my husband. Graham is that man everywhere he goes--always looking for a way to help. The author's explanation of how the young man's simple gesture affected her so deeply made me feel so ugly as so many times I have such a sorry attitude when Graham is helping somebody else (i.e. not me). I don't think about how his actions may be speaking to others, only that I am somehow feeling ignored by him (Ugh!). When he is being kind, I am not thinking about how God may be glorified through Graham's willingness; I am only thinking about how he is not focused on me at the time. It made me sick to my stomach to think of how selfish I have been, and of all things, I DO NOT want to be selfish! But, I have been. Maybe not blatantly, but in my thoughts as I think "What about me?" instead of "What about God?" My attitude not only hurt Graham, but it stood between me and God.

I had to apologize to Graham. I want to be completely supportive of his actions for Christ. I usually get irritated when we go out and he not only opens the door for me but a whole multitude behind me. I keep walking and talking and as I look back, I realize I am talking to myself and there's Graham holding the door smiling and greeting the people. I shouldn't keep walking. I should be standing right beside him with a friendly smile as well. I remember one time we went shopping and as we were leaving the store, a woman with a toddler was struggling to carry this huge plastice drawer thingie. I actually got slightly perturbed when Graham took time away from me to help this woman carry the drawer to her car. I wasn't thinking of the joy Graham was bringing to God or the impact he might be having on the woman.

I hate admitting that I am that selfish at times, but I also know that I am not alone in my selfishness. It just manifests differently in all of us as we all struggle to die daily to Christ. So, conviction is pain, but I love that He loves us enough to meet us right where we are, to show the areas that most definitely need improvement. He wants us to be all we can in Him...to pursue righteousness. In order to do that, we must listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit however He chooses to speak to us and be willing to scrape out what does not belong--to replace selfishness with self-sacrifice, replace a sorry attitude with a cheerful heart. I like that the guilt of conviction is fleeting. He does not want us condemned. He just points it out and if you are willing to recieve it, swallow the fact that you are not perfect, He then replaces that guilt with joy because of His amazing sacrifice.
He must become greater. I must become less.

Beyond Measure

I know that I've been given more than Beyond Measure. I have not experienced the tragedy that Jeremy Camp has(lost his first wife to cancer), but I do not need tragedy in order to realize these blessings for which I am unworthy. My life is full of love, no matter where I look, I am surrounded. Many times I ask why? Why is my life so lovely? A question that has no answer. I want to boast only of Him who gave His life that I might have redemption and this awesome peace...in blessings and if tragedy ensues, I KNOW on whom I stand and I KNOW
"that I’ve been,
Given more than beyond measure,
I come alive when,
I see beyond my fears
I know that I’ve been given more than earthly treasure,
I come alive when
I’ve broken down and given you control"

Hope all had a rockin' Valentines day! And that you choose to see Love all around no matter your circumstances.

A Valentines Day Nap....

God gives...

Do you ever look at your kids? No, I mean really stop and breathe in every ounce of who God made them. Why do we get so busy that we forget to do this? I'm with mine pretty much 24/7, and I "overlook" them all of the time in lieu of homework, cleaning up, and general unimportant details. I don't want to. I want every day to be a day of standing in awe of what God has given me. My children's beauty and being often catches me off guard. It humbles me. Tucking Grayson in the other night I stared at him for the longest, telling him what a miracle he was. He kissed me as tears rolled down my face in thankfulness for what I do not deserve. It's as if God has to grab me by the shoulders sometimes and shake me and say "LOOK! They are what really matters in this life! Mother them as if you are mothering me!" If I was born for nothing else, I was born to be their mom and to be a wife to Graham. God has given me other things to "do," other people to love, but He always bring me back to Himself and then my little family for true contentment and joy. And that's what this week has been to me...a time of refreshing with my family. Graham was able to take off of work a few days, and we just hung out as a family. We had a picnic and silly fun at the park(some pics in sidebar). Friday we took Season to see the Bee Movie. Saturday the girls stayed busy at home, while the men did "men" things, you know burn stuff and build stuff. Graham and I even got to watch both of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies after the kids went to bed, and we finally booked a small vacation for our tenth anniversary.
This life bring ups and downs physically, emotionally, circumstantially. I do not want to take this "up" for granted. Because the truth is, it could all come crashing down tomorrow. This life is a vapor, as my husband often reminds me. And our God is no respecter of persons. Sorry, I don't intend to be a Debbie Downer, as my sister calls me, just a realist. So, yeah, I am thankful and overwhelmed by His blessings.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Awesomeness

Today I just want to say that my God is awesome. He is awesome for so many reasons that I am unable to adequately express, but I'm gonna try a few.

1. When you give to Him, He gives back so much more. Graham and I made a pact with God of some sort last week, concerning discipline in our lives. Just a small step really, but our relationship this week has just been fun. We have been able to find joy despite not feeling 100%. We have blessed each other with grace in times that we wouldn't usually. And in my thinking, it's all because of God. We agreed to be more focused on Him, and He, in His overwhelming grace and mercy, decided to pour us down a blessing!

2. He created a beautiful night. Saturday night I stood outside in my driveway just staring up at the sky in childlike amazement. The stars were just Wow! You could like see every single one of them and they seemed as if you could reach out and grab them. They were so visible because there was no moon. The sky was absolutely pitch (whatever that means!) black. We should shine like that in this world. We should sharply contrast with the darkness around us. Hmmmmmm....it's a challenge. I know I'm not "shiney" enough. Thank God He continues to polish us daily.

3. He has a sense of humor. That same night as I admired the stars, I had a conversation with Graham and a good old friend of his. I laughed at them and they wondered why. I didn't laugh because anything was funny but because our conversation was somewhat ironic. Not so many years ago I would have been extremely angry at them and their heathen ways. But not so anymore as we discussed our God and His ways instead.

**Why is God awesome to you? Come on and leave me a comment and brag on Him. Show us some love. hehehehe


Psalm 34 1-3
I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.

Easily distracted

Lately I have found it difficult to concentrate during church. My mind is constantly wandering, my eyes roaming the crowd. Not to mention my ears focusing on “Mommy, I need a pen,” or “I want gum.” My arms are full of a two-year-old who will not be still or quiet. During one recent service he yelled “Go bye bye” right when the music stopped, seeming to echo my fleshly thoughts! Today our pew is crowded with a couple of extra kids, adding to my distractibility. I gave away my last piece of gum, which led to Grayson digging in my purse for more and coming up empty-handed and mad. A few tic-tacs sufficed him for a minute, but then he remembered what he really wanted was gum. Daddy had to take him out of the service for a few minutes. We try to be kind to the nursery worker and not take him to the nursery until the pastor begins his message. Sometimes it works. Anyways, during the few minutes that my arms are free, they are too busy adjusting my shirt or “fixing” my hair to really praise Jesus. Then I catch myself looking at another woman and judging her clothing choice and think “What am I doing?” Why do I make it so difficult to get in the presence of my King? How often do we do this? I mean God is always there. We are the ones who create the barriers that exist between Him and ourselves. Sometimes it’s almost as if we see Him coming and intentionally throw up a wall. Or at least I know that’s how I feel. You know like “God I don’t want to get too close. You might ask me to do something I don’t want to do.” In the past few years I have found that, yes, He does ask me to do things I don’t necessarily want to do at first. But, after it’s done I always stand amazed at how what I didn’t want to do becomes part of who I am. God knows our hearts better than we do. But, Sunday mornings are tough, though always worth it. And just when I begin to feel sorry for myself for what I am having to endure in order to pursue the presence of God, I am reminded of what Jesus did for me, what He did to be in the presence of God. And for a minute I forget about myself and wish I could stay there forever. Is there anyone who has found it possible to maintain being in His presence? The praise team sang this song at church today. It is one of my favs. Newsboys – You Are My King (Amazing Love)

I'm forgiven, because you were forsaken
I’m accepted you were condemned
And I’m alive and well your sprit is within me
Because you died and rose again

Amazing Love how can it be
That you my king would die for me
Amazing Love I know its true
Its my joy to honor you (in all I do I honor you)


This is Season's new favorite pose to strike! I think it's so funny....she even said she can pray underwater. But she said,"Mommy, I only had time to say Thank you Jesus."
Easily entertained all day long by fun in a box! Score for Mommy!